23 November, 2011

Mr. Beiber takes a Paternity Test

Justin Beiber has finally submitted to a paternity test.  This is occurring after Mariah Yeater dropped her paternity suit against the singer in the wake of rabid fans threatening her.  She didn't drop her allegations.  Why take a paternity test after the suit is dropped?  All I'm saying is, where there's smoke, there's fire and the smoke is burning my eyes right now.  

This is reminiscent of the Kobe Bryant rape case.  Fans were threatening the victim after her identity was found out by the press.  The criminal case was dropped after the victim went into hiding and refused to testify.  The civil case settled out of court, I guess money can buy everything.

I have the feeling that Justin Beiber may be settling this one out of court.  We shall see.

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: Pascal Parvex

Demi and Ashton Kaput

Goodbye creepy old lady, hot younger man couple.  You were destined to crash and burn and you did.  The only thing that surprises me is that 49-year-old Demi Moore is the one filing for divorce.  Maybe she outgrew her misbehaving boytoy.  Mr. Kutcher, 33, clearly got bored of her, judging by his alleged behavior as of late with Sara Leal.  By the way, dear Ashton, Miss Leal says that you used no protection, not smart.

The soon to be three time divorcee released this quote to the associated press, "As a woman, a mother and a wife, there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life."    Here's a pic of the hot one for your viewing pleasure.  

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: David Shankbone.

05 November, 2011

Lilo Headed back to Jail, Kinda.

Miss Lindsay Lohan has officially violated her probation by doing nearly nothing the judge ordered her to do under the terms of her probation.  That means she has to spend 30 days in jail, starting November 9th.  The bad news is that California jails are so crowded that she'll probably be booked and released.  No punishment for little Lilo, again.  Well, on the positive side she has to take a new mug shot that we can make fun of.  Here's an old one for now.

Ashton and Demi, Why is Everyone Acting Surprised?

Ashton Kutcher, a young hottie who had starred in movies, had a hit tv show and produced and starred in his own MTV show, Punked.  This was a somewhat immature show where celebrities were tricked into thinking something terrible was happening and then Ashton ran out from somewhere and laughed at them.  It was funny, kinda.

So, in 2005, at the age of 27, Ashton decided to marry Demi Moore, who was a movie star.  She was 42, she looked good for her age.  This is Ashton's first and Demi's third marriage.  Demi's eldest daughter, Rumer, is 10 years younger than Kutcher.  Now Demi is 48 and probably peri-menopausal to Ashton's 33, his prime.  He's the star of Two and a Half Men which films in Los Angeles. 

Kutcher recently reportedly had a hot tub romp with two women, followed by sex with one of them on his sixth anniversary with Demi.  Oops.  Today, reports popped up that Demi is allegedly having an affair with Ashton's friend with Ben Hollingsworth, he's 27.  The reportedly had sex in the back of a car.  Lovely.  

The age gap is huge.  They looked creepy together, like an incestuous mother and son.  The reported marriage strain should not come as a surprise.  They are in different stages in life.  

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: TechCrunch50-2008.

Does Justin Bieber have a Baby, Baby, Baby, and Will Selena Gomez Stick Around Long Enough to Find Out?

A tale as old as time....statutory rape and sex in a bathroom.  Okay, so it's no fairytale.  A twenty year old woman has claimed that Justin is her infant son's baby daddy.  She has filed for child support in a San Diego court. The sex with the famous little singer was described as 30 seconds long and on a shelf in a restroom.  How magical.  The baby-faced Justin Bieber was 16 at the time and the claimant, Mariah Yeater, was 19.  If convicted this would be a misdemeanor statutory rape charge due to their three year age difference. 

Mariah could face up to a year in jail.  Judging by all the celebrities that check in and out of California jails, I'm guessing three weeks max.   According to several reports Bieber is the second person to be singled out as being the baby's daddy.  Mariah claims that she was picked out of her front row seats during an October 2010 concert, by security, and brought back to meet Justin. On July 6th of this year little Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater was born.

Okay, just a little analysis here.  To take or not to take the DNA test (assuming he is not court ordered to do so).  It's more complicated than it sounds.  If he's sure, it will solve it once and for all, but will he be taking DNA tests far too often for other women claiming that he fathered their child, even if they can't prove that they ever met him?  If he is the father it will quickly turn into a settlement/custody game, hopefully outside the public eye.

Mariah is poor, really poor.  She gets a meager amount of public assistance.  She does have a money motive for her claims for child support.  Her life would change dramatically for the better.  The catch, he doesn't pay anything unless the child is proven to be his.  If she knows it's not, never slept with him, like he claims, then why go through all of this?  Maybe Star Magazine pays big?  I honestly do not know.  It's a weird thing to pluck out of thin air.  I think there must be some fire under all this smoke.  Even lies usually have elements of truth to them.  She says that she tried to get a hot of Bieber through his reps for quite some time before she filed the paternity suit.  Rumors are flying that Selena Gomez, Justin's latest girl, broken it off with him.  She denies the rumors, for now.  Bieber fans are literally threatening to murder Mariah, in writing, on Facebook.  Stay tuned.

Just for fun, here's Mariah Yeater's mug shot from last year when she slapped her ex-boyfriend repeatedly and broke out a car window:

The above file featuring Justin Bieber is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license. Author: Adam Sundana.