09 June, 2012

Taylor Swift Hurt John Mayer's Feelings

Taylor Swift did what Taylor Swift does and wrote a song about her broken heart after her failed relationship with John Mayer.  A lot of artists do that, um hello, Justin Timberlake.  John Mayer said this is cheap songwriting, he said she was kicking him while he was down.  I would feel more sorry for him if he was an innocent instead of a singer with verbal diarrhea who called Jessica Simpson sexual napalm.  The truth is, he's a fabulous talent but he doesn't seem to have the whole relationship thing down. 

Here's a snippet of the song:

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known

Sorry John, I'm loving the song and siding with Taylor.  You kinda proved yourself to be a bit of a douche with women.  Be better in the future and people may not feel the need to lash out at you. 

Creative Commons - Photo Credit: Julio Enriquez
Lilo smashed her (rented) Porshe into the back of a garbage truck, totaling it.  Is anyone surprised?  Yeah, me neither.  The lovely Ms. Lindsay Lohan and her assistant were slightly injured after Lindsay rear ended the huge truck.  She's seriously lucky to be alive, little cars and giant trucks don't match up well.  Showing a work ethic that few knew existed, the actress spent two hours at the hospital and then went to work on the new Liz Taylor movie.  

03 January, 2012

It's Raining Celebrity Divorces

Near the end of 2011 we were showered with celebrity divorce announcements.  They included:

Ashton Kutcher (1st Marriage) & Demi Moore (3rd Marriage)
 Married 09.24.2005
No Children Together
Alleged Cause: He Cheated

Kobe Bryant (1st Marriage) & Vanessa Bryant (1st Marriage)
Married 04.18.2001
2 Children: Natalia (born 01.19.2003); Gianna (born 05.01.2006)
Alleged Cause: He Cheated (A LOT)

Katy Perry (1st Marriage) & Russell Brand  (1st Marriage)
 Married 10.23.2010
No Children
Alleged Cause: Katy Likes to Party
Deion Sanders (2nd Marriage) & Pilar Biggers-Sanders (1st Marriage)
Married 05.21.1999
3 Children Together: Shilo;  Shedeur; Shelomi
 Alleged Cause: Deion wanted a Housewife

Rodney Atkins (1st Marriage) & Tammy Atkins (2nd Marriage)
Married 04.26.1998
1 Child Together: Elijah (born 09.28.2001)
Alleged Cause: He Tried to Smother Her
Kim Kardashian (2nd Marriage) & Kris Humphries (1st Marriage)
 Married 08.20.2011
No Children
Alleged Cause: Wedding a Ratings Ploy

Holly Marie Combs (2nd Marriage) & David Donoho (1st Marriage)
Married 02.14.2004
 3 Children: Finley (born 04.26.2004); Riley (born 10.26.2006); Kelley (born 05.26.2009)
Alleged Cause: Irreconcilable Differences

 Sinead O'Connor (4th Marriage) & Barry Herridge (Unknown)
Married 12.09.2011
No Children Together
Alleged Cause: Her Drug Use and His Family (1st Marriage)

Debra Messing (1st Marriage) & Daniel Zelman (1st Marriage)
Married 09.03.2000
1Child: Roman (born 04.07.2004)
Alleged Cause and/or Alleged Rebound: She's Dating her Married Co-Star

Happy New Year!

23 November, 2011

Mr. Beiber takes a Paternity Test

Justin Beiber has finally submitted to a paternity test.  This is occurring after Mariah Yeater dropped her paternity suit against the singer in the wake of rabid fans threatening her.  She didn't drop her allegations.  Why take a paternity test after the suit is dropped?  All I'm saying is, where there's smoke, there's fire and the smoke is burning my eyes right now.  

This is reminiscent of the Kobe Bryant rape case.  Fans were threatening the victim after her identity was found out by the press.  The criminal case was dropped after the victim went into hiding and refused to testify.  The civil case settled out of court, I guess money can buy everything.

I have the feeling that Justin Beiber may be settling this one out of court.  We shall see.

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: Pascal Parvex

Demi and Ashton Kaput

Goodbye creepy old lady, hot younger man couple.  You were destined to crash and burn and you did.  The only thing that surprises me is that 49-year-old Demi Moore is the one filing for divorce.  Maybe she outgrew her misbehaving boytoy.  Mr. Kutcher, 33, clearly got bored of her, judging by his alleged behavior as of late with Sara Leal.  By the way, dear Ashton, Miss Leal says that you used no protection, not smart.

The soon to be three time divorcee released this quote to the associated press, "As a woman, a mother and a wife, there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life."    Here's a pic of the hot one for your viewing pleasure.  

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: David Shankbone.

05 November, 2011

Lilo Headed back to Jail, Kinda.

Miss Lindsay Lohan has officially violated her probation by doing nearly nothing the judge ordered her to do under the terms of her probation.  That means she has to spend 30 days in jail, starting November 9th.  The bad news is that California jails are so crowded that she'll probably be booked and released.  No punishment for little Lilo, again.  Well, on the positive side she has to take a new mug shot that we can make fun of.  Here's an old one for now.

Ashton and Demi, Why is Everyone Acting Surprised?

Ashton Kutcher, a young hottie who had starred in movies, had a hit tv show and produced and starred in his own MTV show, Punked.  This was a somewhat immature show where celebrities were tricked into thinking something terrible was happening and then Ashton ran out from somewhere and laughed at them.  It was funny, kinda.

So, in 2005, at the age of 27, Ashton decided to marry Demi Moore, who was a movie star.  She was 42, she looked good for her age.  This is Ashton's first and Demi's third marriage.  Demi's eldest daughter, Rumer, is 10 years younger than Kutcher.  Now Demi is 48 and probably peri-menopausal to Ashton's 33, his prime.  He's the star of Two and a Half Men which films in Los Angeles. 

Kutcher recently reportedly had a hot tub romp with two women, followed by sex with one of them on his sixth anniversary with Demi.  Oops.  Today, reports popped up that Demi is allegedly having an affair with Ashton's friend with Ben Hollingsworth, he's 27.  The reportedly had sex in the back of a car.  Lovely.  

The age gap is huge.  They looked creepy together, like an incestuous mother and son.  The reported marriage strain should not come as a surprise.  They are in different stages in life.  

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: TechCrunch50-2008.